Wednesday, July 14, 2010

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To all the Lians & Bengs out there.

Following my Ah Lian Graduation photo, I feel that the L&Bs deserve me dedicating a post to them, for they are a unique breed, can only be found in Singapore (oh well, Malaysia too la, but who cares), so, we should be proud of them!


For the Lians and Bengs reading my blog, this is something to make reading my blog easier to understand, makes it Beng & Lian friendly: English to Benglish Translator

Anyway, they are always fun to talk about, whether you are one of them or not. Non-L&Bs talk about them, or rather make fun of their engrish; Lians and Bengs talk about other L&Bs, who is chio who is yandao, or who they see buay song.

Anyway I believe everyone must have had some L&B wannabe moments in their younger days (don't be paiseh to admit la), unless you are a geek la, then nothing to say. Those are good times to look back at, right John? Your Versace jeans, bell bottoms, pointy combs and long wallets before your hip hop days.

Here is an interesting fact I've found:
Ah Lian vs. Ah Huay
Ah Huay is actually a class lower than Ah Lian, normally Ah Lian is the one that dresses better. Didn't know they have different class too. Impressive.
Ah Beng vs Ah Seng
Ah Seng = lao beng

Maybe I should organise a L&B themed party for my birthday, so I shall give you some tips on dressing like a Lian or Beng:


Apart from dressing like one, you will need to know how to speak in their lingo, apart from all the vulgarities.

Abuden ( equivalent to the English word: And then? Or Ah, but then? )
Ali Baba ( equivalent to cheat/steal)
Wahseh ( a.k.a Aiseh ) ( equivalent to expression of surprise)
Action ( equivalent to being proud or cocky) Eg “ Waseh buy new phone ah? Action oledi lah! “
Walau eh !( equivalent to an expression of total disbelief ) Eg. “ Walau eh, that charbo( girl) neh neh very big lah!

Aiya, akcherly to talk like beng and lian sibei easy one la, just talk like you buay song or want to xio pah can orlady, and hor make sure each sentence got vowgality tio eh sai liao.



Gonna end this post with some jokes:


Story 1:
In a shop one day..
Ah Lian: Eh Ah Chek, you got sell stocking up to knee, boh?
Ah Chek : Lyou siao ah! Stocking wear up to ‘yeo’ (waist) only, where got up to the ‘nee’ (breast) one.

Story 2:
Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian’s place to show it to her. So there Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new car to his girlfriend.
Ah Beng: This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!
Ah Lian: Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!

Ah Beng: Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!
Ah Lian: Let me try! I wan, I wan!!

So Ah Lian took the driver’s seat and shifted the gear and floored the accelerator.
The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the lamp-post.

Ah Beng: Alamak! What you doing? YOU Siao Char Bo! YOU see lah! Wah Piang eh!
Ah Lian: Solee, solee, pai sah lah! No lah, I thought hor, R for racing mah!

Story 3:
Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and wanted the DJ to play the song “Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti” (In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys Bread)

The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them to re-select another song. The Ah Bengs were very angry and kicked up a big fuss, claiming the DJ was insulting them. The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down.

Finally, after long talk with Ah Bengs, the manager found out that Ah Bengs actually asking for the song “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers.

Story 4:
One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey and want to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial, they could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As they not English-educated, they were puzzled and had no idea what does the letter G mean.

Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G. When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, “Wah lau!!!, how you know one?” The first Ah Lian reply smugly, “Easy lah.. G for Gero mah…”


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